1 00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:05,840 Previously on Vanderpump Rules... Oh, there you are. These are all wrong. 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,740 probably thinking of your future nursery, not my dining room. 3 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:10,340 So Brittany's mom is in town. 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,140 Definitely different from where I live. 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,079 No sex, no drinking, definitely can't poop with the door open. Did you all 6 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,080 get into a church? 7 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:18,860 A what? 8 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,340 I think it's best for me to walk away from this workplace. 9 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,260 Can't give up. What's wrong with you? If you quit... You're going to give some 10 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,720 people a lot of satisfaction. I don't think you want to do that. I think it's 11 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,200 kind of what Lala's done to a home because I've heard that other people are 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,920 affected by this. What about the guy? 13 00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:39,220 I'm sorry, what? You saying that is defending her right there. That is so 14 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:42,080 delusional. I don't need to be upset about it. 15 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,760 Can you change those bottles around over there? I don't like that. 16 00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:18,940 And then spoon line those all along there. It looks a mess. 17 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:22,680 Hey, Jack, two raspberry mojitos and one vodka and soda. 18 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,840 Hello. 19 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,880 Hi, darling. How are you? 20 00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:32,220 I'm good. How are you? Good. I just clocked in. 21 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:37,960 Everything's okay in Sheena Shea land? In Sheena and Shea land, everything is 22 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,400 very well. 23 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,700 The girls is always another story, you know. 24 00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:45,460 Last night, I get a bunch of angry texts from Kristen, and I'm like, I'm not 25 00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,740 fighting with you over texts. About what? 26 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:50,260 When we were talking about, like, the bridal shower and stuff, Katie, she's 27 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:52,820 like, I don't want you guys spending a lot of money. So then when it started 28 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:56,280 costing a few thousand dollars... How come it cost a lot? Because we had to 29 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,180 $1 ,500 to borrow the house, and Kristen thought that her staffing, I would just 30 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,180 split it three ways. 31 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,980 I'm like, I didn't agree to this. 32 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,400 It would be one thing if I was actually included in the planning process of the 33 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,320 bridal shower, but staffing Kristen or just deciding how my money's being spent 34 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,620 without... Discussing it with me first. Sit down for a second. 35 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,640 I don't think it needs to come back to Katie. 36 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:20,360 Do you think she wants to have the memory of her bridal shower that her 37 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,940 bridesmaids were quibbling over the price? 38 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:26,420 Have your opinion. Speak up. You're not investing in someone. Yeah. Now, your 39 00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,920 shift is going to be starting very soon. Yeah. 40 00:02:29,260 --> 00:02:30,260 Thanks for the talk. 41 00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:48,400 Flyer, but I didn't, I just said, are you Batman -ing? 42 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,580 I'm Batman -ing. Well, you need to start getting ready. 43 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,560 Go to your birthday party, you weirdo. 44 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,360 I'm visualizing my outfit. 45 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,900 It's all coming together. 46 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:03,220 I didn't totally blast it all over social media because I wasn't sure what 47 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:07,020 capacity was going to be like for Busby. Yeah. Which kind of sucks when you're 48 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,020 trying to raise money. 49 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,260 Do you need the bathroom? 50 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,340 Yeah. For my birthday, I'm not just having a rager. 51 00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,070 I'm doing a fundraiser. 52 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,610 Oh, yeah. Gotta get that glow. 53 00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:21,790 So I've teamed up with Richardson, Lisa's head server over at Pump, to 54 00:03:21,790 --> 00:03:27,110 money for Project Elevate, where they provide education and facilities for 55 00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:27,769 in Haiti. 56 00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,470 So my braid guy is coming over. 57 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,290 Hey, what's up, dude? How you doing? 58 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:36,150 Good. Tom has a braid guy. I have several people to braid my hair. 59 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:39,770 Hi. You know I'm so jealous of you right now. You know I'm braid obsessed. 60 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,580 And then you are. Think of all the money we would save if Tom and I could just 61 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,100 learn to braid each other's hair. 62 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:51,220 So, Jackson's roast is coming up. I am way behind on that. I haven't even 63 00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:53,440 started on that. All I've been thinking about is this fundraiser. 64 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:54,820 I've got to really hit him deep. 65 00:03:55,080 --> 00:04:00,380 Tonight kicks off a whole week of debauchery because after my birthday, we 66 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:04,400 Jackson's birthday roast. I think it's funny that Kristen's throwing it. You're 67 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,300 going to be the punchline. That's what I'm saying. Why would she put herself in 68 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,300 that position? 69 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:13,790 It's actually a brave of Kristen to want to host this roast where everyone's 70 00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:17,690 going to talk about all the horrible things that Jax has done. Half the 71 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,529 things that he's done have been with Kristen. 72 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,790 Kristen texted me happy birthday today. 73 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,470 So I invited her. I invited Stassi. 74 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:31,720 Yeah. I'm not trying to be involved in like a group of friends. And I don't 75 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,240 understand what you're doing. Because I care about Katie. 76 00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:38,760 It's so rude. The more people, the more money we get. Yeah. That's my 77 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:44,180 philosophy. If Stassi comes or doesn't, it's really up to her. But honestly, if 78 00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:47,900 you don't show up to a charity event, you're probably easier than I thought. 79 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:53,179 Lace me up. 80 00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:54,180 Love that. 81 00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:55,489 And awesome. 82 00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:59,310 Are you jealous you wish you were wearing this? Kind of. The twin bad 83 00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:01,010 Oh my god, cool shoes. 84 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,430 Got a pocket square in the car, then you gotta pick up the chest. 85 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:17,890 Paint swatches is what we need. 86 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,010 It just turns this dirty pink. 87 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,920 I have to go back to the paint store because Lisa hated all the paint samples 88 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,240 brought her for the VIP room. 89 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,880 I don't know if that exists. Like, what is a dirty pink? 90 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:33,780 Look at all these pinks. Look how subtle the difference is. It's like my hair 91 00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:36,700 every day. It's just subtly different, you know? You know, I think that was too 92 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:40,460 bright. You know this thing? Yeah, yeah. Dusty. Like, look at that desert rose. 93 00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:42,180 I don't know. 94 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,720 Like, come on. 95 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:44,860 It's pink. 96 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,900 Pink shopping's not that fun. 97 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,340 Whoa, there's even more here. 98 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:49,740 Oh, Jesus. 99 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,660 Have you looked in the mirror? Your eyes look like Jack's eyes. 100 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,220 You didn't even drink that much. 101 00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,440 Oh, come on. 102 00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:06,080 I had plenty to drink earlier on, but then I stopped drinking. 103 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:13,260 I just don't understand why you were so fired up 104 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:16,620 then. It was my bridal shower, and it was so amazing, and then I'm sitting 105 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,020 talking about love. I know, but come on. 106 00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:22,090 In light of everything, you were talking about your friends, you're getting 107 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,670 gifts. No, Tom, I was expecting him to help me when we got home. Okay, but you 108 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:29,270 don't have to start a huge fight over it. After my bridal shower, I was coming 109 00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:33,650 home with a bunch of gifts, and I asked Tom if he would help us carry everything 110 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:34,650 up from the car. 111 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:37,690 And he didn't want to. He wanted to go out to the bars with his friends. 112 00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:40,570 I text Tom with some choice words. 113 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:44,090 It turned into this text fight conversation. 114 00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:49,190 He just wanted to be having a good time, and I was ruining it. You started a 115 00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:52,230 fight over nothing, just like you usually do. No, I didn't. You never take 116 00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,050 accountability for your actions. No, I don't either. 117 00:06:54,510 --> 00:06:58,270 Yes, I do, 100%. No, you don't. First of all, you were functioning the whole 118 00:06:58,270 --> 00:06:59,590 night. No, I was not. 119 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:02,470 The only time you act like that is when you've been drinking a lot. You're 120 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:03,409 passive aggressive. 121 00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:04,410 No, I wasn't. You're short. 122 00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:05,209 You're mean. 123 00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:08,690 No. And way out of line. Can you say that as well? No, I wasn't out of line. 124 00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:09,629 Okay, okay. 125 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,630 I thought I didn't come home and think. 126 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,010 I'm an alcoholic, drunk. 127 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,890 The minute I walked in, like you did for me. I was pissed, yeah. 128 00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:17,310 But what I did didn't warrant that response. 129 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:21,390 You're such a bitch, dude. Oh my God, you're such a bitch. 130 00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:26,350 You're such a bitch, dude. Thanks for coming. 131 00:07:26,630 --> 00:07:27,630 This was fun. 132 00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:33,030 Here we go again with the walkway. 133 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:49,800 Just let it go now. 134 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,120 You can just call an Uber. 135 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,580 So I'm such a bitch, then I'll be a bitch. 136 00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:08,460 The world's biggest check. 137 00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:12,720 Hopefully it's big in more than one way. 138 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,420 Hi guys. Hey, what's up? Hey. 139 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,620 Good to see you. 140 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:23,140 Oh, look at this guy. That's Brittany. 141 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:24,640 Thank you. 142 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,380 Birthday food I see over there. 143 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,700 Hey, hi. How's it going, man? Oh, hi. I didn't even see you because this guy 144 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:31,700 looks so good. 145 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,400 To the floor we go. Oh my God. 146 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,140 What's up? Did you guys donate? 147 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:39,700 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to go. So I feel good about myself on days I'm 148 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:43,580 being a selfish bitch. Yeah. But I'm like, You know what? I did this. You 149 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:47,600 excited for your first night? Yeah, man, your first... I'm nervous, but it 150 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,080 should be good. It should be fun. I came to Arthur, the last manager at Pump, 151 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:55,040 asking for a job because I need to pay my bills. You guys need a DJ at 152 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,120 If you're going to DJ for us, you're not drinking. 153 00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,920 100%. The minute you break your word, I got to cut your hair or something. 154 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,240 Well, happy birthday, dude. 155 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:04,940 I'm glad I made it. Thanks for coming, man. 156 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,420 Hi! 157 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,920 Oh, my God! 158 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,260 Jesus Christ, your body's amazing. 159 00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:11,840 Oh, hey, man. What's up? 160 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,040 I wonder how old Paul is today. Maybe like 34? 161 00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,780 He'd kill me if I said that. I think he's 33. 162 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,760 Maybe he's 34. 163 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:20,960 Happy birthday! 164 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,260 Oh, thank you. 165 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,320 I want to make a donation. 166 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,340 It's kind of f***ed up, but me and Katie, we've been in so many fights. I 167 00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:31,240 call her a bitch, and then six, seven hours later, we'll be at a party, happy 168 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,240 and in love. 169 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,340 Thank you. Thanks for coming, guys. 170 00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:38,240 Relatively speaking, me calling her a bitch and her storming out, that's 171 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,960 Casual Thursdays. I'm bringing double breasted back. 172 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,020 What's more in sync? In sync Michael Jackson. 173 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,840 Yeah, right? Yeah, I can see that. 174 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,980 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 175 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,440 All right, let's get a drink. 176 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,900 I watch football here every Sunday. 177 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,099 Oh, God. 178 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,100 This is my new spot. 179 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,400 It's cool, though. 180 00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:58,540 All right. 181 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,280 Well, hello, party people. Is this your mom? 182 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,740 Yeah. Oh, my God, you're beautiful. 183 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,600 Look at there. Yeah, champ. How you doing, man? Good seeing you. 184 00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,180 Hello, doll. 185 00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:11,480 Hi. How are you? I'm glad to see you guys are still together. 186 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:12,820 Yes. Considering. 187 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,020 Considering what? 188 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,880 Oh, you don't know? 189 00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:24,500 Coming up. He ended up calling me a bitch. I got in my car and said call him 190 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,880 bitch. We're getting married in a few weeks, for God's sake. 191 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:39,150 Thanks for coming, man. Hey, happy birthday. 192 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:40,390 Yeah, thanks, man. 193 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,730 Look at you in your old white. 194 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:42,990 Happy birthday. 195 00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,190 Glad to see you guys are still together. 196 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:46,970 Yes. Considering. Thank God. 197 00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:49,150 Considering what? 198 00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:51,610 Oh, you don't know? 199 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,390 About Ellie? 200 00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:55,470 Oh, I've told her everything. 201 00:10:56,290 --> 00:11:00,290 I need to stand up for my friend Ellie. We've been friends for seven, eight 202 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:04,070 years now. We both opened up Villa Blanca together, and that's how we 203 00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:07,790 friends. I don't appreciate that he's going around L .A. telling everyone 204 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:08,349 a liar. 205 00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:10,670 Sally said she had a picture of you in bed with her in March. 206 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,610 She took that because she's a DJ groupie. 207 00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:17,030 March, 8 .44 a .m. 208 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:20,750 It takes selfies with other people in bed. 209 00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:27,530 Kudos to James. He found the one beautiful, dumbest girl to believe all 210 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:30,690 lies while he just goes around L .A. and sleeps with girls. Because, I mean, how 211 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,690 are you just that dumb? 212 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:33,030 All right, well. 213 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,040 Glad to see you guys. You're doing well. Yeah, hope you have a good night. Thank 214 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,740 you. I'm going to go do my residency. 215 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,500 Fine. 216 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Hey, hi. How are you? We're doing donations just to let you know. 217 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:46,300 We all donate $500. 218 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,160 Thank you so much. 219 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:49,159 Is that enough? 220 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,160 Oh, that's more than enough. 221 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:51,380 Hi, Lisa. 222 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,120 Hey. Oh, hi. 223 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,560 I'm buying you a fifth grader's education. 224 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,540 That was a complete waste of time. 225 00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:03,350 He goes, oh, she already knows about that. I was like, oh, but you're okay 226 00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,470 all of this? And she was like, I already knew everything. 227 00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:07,730 Like, she's a really pretty girl, but she's dumb as. 228 00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:09,030 Dumb as. 229 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,430 All right, Thomas, I got to fly the Redberry. 230 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,230 Bye. Oh, my God. Good luck. Thanks. 231 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:17,250 I did want to talk to you about all the texts you sent me last night. 232 00:12:17,930 --> 00:12:18,930 Okay. 233 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:24,210 But that's the thing, Kristen, is you guys can't make plans without me and 234 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,290 expect me to just be on board. You were actually included in this decision. I 235 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:29,430 didn't agree to split $1 ,500 three ways. 236 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:33,190 If we all split it eight ways, that's a lot less. That's half a shift. 237 00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:36,770 You're making me feel like I'm not as good of a friend or as good of a 238 00:12:36,770 --> 00:12:39,230 bridesmaid. No. Because I didn't spend an equal amount. 239 00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:44,150 I hate fighting about money. It makes me feel so weird. No, I mean you. I feel 240 00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:47,010 so weird. Like the cheap friend. I swear. 241 00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:49,090 Hi. 242 00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:57,040 Bish. right here needs to stay right here. Sheena needs to shut her mouth. 243 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,200 don't want to make the bride feel guilty about us throwing a party for her. 244 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:09,060 I am a people pleaser. That's no secret. 245 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:13,180 But I've noticed since becoming closer friends with Kristen, Katie, and Stassi, 246 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,160 I've literally lost my voice. 247 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:21,100 I just don't know how much more I can take. 248 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,920 Whatever you'd like to donate. 249 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:27,920 So whatever your balance in your bank account is, write that down right here. 250 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,120 And then click submit. 251 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:32,980 Ariana will swipe and do all of that. I won't look. It's from both of us. Okay, 252 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000 cool. We talked about it today. 253 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,080 Oh my God, Jack, your card is declined. 254 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:38,980 That can't be right. 255 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,800 You know, I've heard that one before. I'm not going to lie. 256 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,960 Why does it think this always happen when my girlfriend's mom is in town? Why 257 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,220 does it never happen when I'm like out to lunch going to McDonald's? 258 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,700 work it, sir, more than you do, okay? 259 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:57,620 Approved. Yeah! 260 00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,300 I'm sorry, but your card got declined and mine went through. 261 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,580 Now make me a sandwich. 262 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,020 Happy birthday, baby. 263 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,040 Will you help me sing happy birthday? 264 00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:12,180 Happy birthday to you. 265 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:19,920 Thank you, guys. I really appreciate you all coming. And if you like donuts, 266 00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:21,860 then have a donut. 267 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,160 I'm so sorry. 268 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:27,650 Oh, yeah, good bombs. Yeah, good bombs. So I have to drink this whole thing in 269 00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,450 one go? I mean, you can take a break. 270 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:30,670 We're not. 271 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,420 She hasn't shown up for a shift. 272 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,200 She hasn't called in. 273 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,820 But I mean, still, at least have some respect for the person that's employing 274 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,700 you. Lala, once again, is MIA. I'm disappointed. 275 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,640 Who knows what she's doing and what she's up to. 276 00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:15,760 How are you getting on with Stassi? I don't like her very much. You don't? She 277 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,140 likes to try to tell people how to live their lives and how they should be. 278 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:21,080 Well, she's an expert. Oh, apparently. 279 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,340 Stassi's idea that I'm going to be another one of her little fucking 280 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,340 ridiculous. 281 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,200 She is not about to boss me around like she does with her other friends. 282 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,140 She also wants to rule the world. Yeah, she does, and she's not going to rule 283 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:36,140 me. 284 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,840 How's that candy fit in here? I was tired of wearing that harness. 285 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,860 Aw, Jax, I had a bra just like that when I was 10. 286 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,580 Will you please show Mom? 287 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,200 Please show Mom your shirt. 288 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,680 Please show Mom. 289 00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:54,770 I never thought that I would be cleaning Jack's clothes, and I also never 290 00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:58,330 thought I would have a boyfriend who's had more boob jobs than me. I'm not 291 00:15:58,330 --> 00:15:59,330 to lie, it is comfortable. 292 00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:01,590 Do I have my stumbles? Have you got them? 293 00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:02,810 They're in my car. 294 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:06,890 I need them in the restaurant. Well, I brought Tom to be, like, my other eyes, 295 00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,770 because his eyes are, like, better than mine. 296 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:13,710 I don't have that much confidence in Tom choosing the color of my VIP room. 297 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:14,890 Well... 298 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,300 You wouldn't have many compliments after the way he acted in the pink store. 299 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:22,460 Because he ended up calling me a bitch. I got in my car and said, if I'm a 300 00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:25,700 bitch, then I'm going to be one. Calling me a bitch. You're getting married in a 301 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:29,460 few weeks, for God's sake. I know. Stop working this stuff out. He was able to 302 00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:33,560 redeem himself. I drove a block and he called me. He's like, no, I went to the 303 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,020 dark side. It was me. It was me. It was me. I was like, that's right. 304 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:38,500 Can I steal you for a second? Can I grab my drink? 305 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,320 Yeah. Okay. Here he comes. I'll rip him a new one. 306 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:42,900 Yeah. Cool. 307 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,440 It's good to see you. Yeah. 308 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,940 Have you been behaving yourself? 309 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,680 Yeah. No. 310 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,660 Guys, seriously, it's time to sort this nonsense out. You can't go through life 311 00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:56,240 fighting over nothing. I got a little out of line. She got a little. 312 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:02,260 No. I don't believe that we have so much to catch up on. We're well and truly 313 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:03,260 caught up. 314 00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:05,579 I'm so glad we did that. 315 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,980 There are just a couple things I feel like I've been trying on and off all 316 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,119 Really? Why? 317 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,290 I don't look like it? No, that's awesome. 318 00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:20,069 I've been feeling, like, really lonely lately because every single Shay and I 319 00:17:20,069 --> 00:17:21,069 so good. 320 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:23,230 But he's not around as much. 321 00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,010 Last night, I got home, and he's not here. 322 00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:29,590 And then I'm texting him, and I'm texting him, and he's not responding. 323 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,950 like, hey, it's 3 a .m. I'm, like, checking. 324 00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:33,129 You okay? 325 00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:35,810 You still at the studio? And finally, he's like, babe, I'm trying. 326 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:41,020 to record and you are bothering me right now and i'm trying to do a job it 327 00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:46,680 scares me and i feel i can't talk to the other girls about this because then the 328 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,500 next time they get drunk they'll throw it in my face when ariana was saying i 329 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,000 don't give a are you you know i was just like well i'm just gonna say that like 330 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,220 you guys get drunk all the time and you fight have you talked to her about this 331 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:01,480 no because we can never talk to sheena about anything let's just talk about 332 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,560 katie's wedding that's the only The thing you guys like talking about right 333 00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:08,320 like I feel like I can't have anything going on in my own life because this 334 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,320 number is all about Katie. 335 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:10,379 Katie's wedding. 336 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,900 Katie's bridal shower. Katie's bachelor party. Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, 337 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,240 Katie. I feel like I've just become a yes girl who's like, yes. 338 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:19,500 Oh, love that. Oh my God, totally. It's easy to do that. 339 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,980 Especially, I know you are that person that wants everybody to get along. 340 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:28,120 And if people don't love you, then they're not your real friend. 341 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,320 Here's to not being afraid of the truth. 342 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:35,480 That's why I'm so happy that we're all in the best friendship spot ever. You're 343 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,239 not crazy. 344 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,600 I love you so much. 345 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,219 Hey, everybody. 346 00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:43,500 Can I get everybody over here? 347 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,800 All right, guys. 348 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,540 We had a goal tonight to raise $5 ,000. 349 00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:50,740 We raised $8 ,000. 350 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:03,700 $8 ,600 going to kids in Haiti. 351 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,420 And that feels good. 352 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,060 It's going to help me get through my hangover tomorrow. 353 00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,500 Hey, you're cleaning that up. 354 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,160 Coming up. We all have a little past. 355 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,900 Mine is just a lot worse than some people. 356 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:17,940 I mean, I didn't kill anybody. 357 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:19,320 That's pretty much the only thing I did do. 358 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,520 Oh, my God. 359 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:38,990 What do you have to do to set up? So I just press this button. Turn it on. 360 00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:42,190 It's way too complicated for me. 361 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,470 It sounds so good. 362 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:46,850 Yeah? Yeah. 363 00:19:46,910 --> 00:19:51,770 Woo! Today is the day, ladies and gentlemen, that I start my residency. 364 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,750 at the Redberry Hotel, where we're doing everything but drinking. 365 00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:57,830 Hey. 366 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,700 I went to Tom's party. You didn't make it? Oh, I didn't know about it. 367 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:08,760 Tom had a little fundraiser thing tonight, and you missed a hell of a 368 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,000 I'm just kidding. You didn't miss much, dude. 369 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,600 Apart from Sheena coming up and trying to stir a little pot. She comes up and 370 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,180 goes, oh, hi, you must be Raquel. 371 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,960 Like, good to see you guys are still together. 372 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:21,560 And it's like, don't worry about your own marriage. That nearly failed already 373 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,280 three times. Like, it's a bit harsh, isn't it? 374 00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,099 Bit harsh? 375 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,100 No. 376 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,600 That's that. 377 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:30,720 Yeah, well. And this is my new pump. 378 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:35,490 People really underestimate me. How many busboys have come in and out of Thur 379 00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:36,950 and how many have prevailed? 380 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,510 Just one, my friend. 381 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,850 The ultimate infiltration. 382 00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:42,190 Is that a word? 383 00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:43,790 Because I just made it one. 384 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,709 What do you think? 385 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,530 I love it. I love this place. No pump. 386 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:47,830 It's a little different. 387 00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,670 I like it, though. Thank you so much for the opportunity. 388 00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,290 Yeah, man. I'm glad that we get to work together again. Me too. 389 00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:53,810 Let's do it. Cool. 390 00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:56,490 Let me know if you need anything, okay? All right. Thanks, mate. 391 00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:58,690 I can do the dirty martini. 392 00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,190 Get it done. 393 00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:13,810 Anything else I can get for you? 394 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:17,650 Do you want to take a look at a cocktail menu or a wine list? Yeah, I'll start. 395 00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:24,510 Hey, hey. Yeah, who's ordering that? That's for you, actually. I wish. 396 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:28,790 How's everything? It's been hectic. And we're still hostess down. Hostess short, 397 00:21:28,930 --> 00:21:29,930 yeah. Yeah, lala. 398 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,780 She's not sure what else. You know what really pissed me off is you give 399 00:21:32,780 --> 00:21:36,020 somebody so many chances, you invest in them, and they screw you over. 400 00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:40,440 I can only do so much. I offered Lala a job when she was in trouble. I've stuck 401 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,100 with her. I've supported her. 402 00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:43,460 Now it's up to her. 403 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,720 We need to cover her shift. 404 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,580 I have a couple of extra hosts. I can always pull one from the apartment, no 405 00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:48,720 problem. I think we'll be fine. 406 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,200 How are you two doing after your fight the other night? Good. I mean, it was, 407 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:55,660 like, so blown out of proportion. I didn't realize that he, like, had been 408 00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:58,840 drinking margaritas and was wasted. I didn't realize. That's what I was going 409 00:21:58,840 --> 00:21:59,960 say. I feel like... 410 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,800 You guys fight only when you drink. I know. 411 00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:06,180 But, like, you, too, not just him. I know. 412 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:12,420 Like, just feels like the last few times I'm like, oh, Katie's drinking. I also 413 00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:13,540 fight some customers. 414 00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:14,860 Yeah. Yeah. 415 00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:20,400 Oh, also, the last two nights in a row, I've gotten angry, drunk text messages 416 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,060 from Kristen. Has she said anything to you? The last two nights? After the 417 00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:27,180 shower, she texts me immediately and goes, so we're splitting this three 418 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,280 right? 419 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,640 Isn't it etiquette 101 that you don't tell someone what you spent on their 420 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,479 or their gift? 421 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:38,320 I was just like, you guys, you're spending thousands on a shower for a few 422 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:42,820 hours. I feel it's very tacky, and I would have hoped that the bridesmaids 423 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,700 have worked this out amongst themselves without me being involved. 424 00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:49,020 She went off on me for that. And then I get another angry, drunk text from her 425 00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:49,799 about Ariana. 426 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,680 Last night, Ariana and I literally had like a heart -to -heart. 427 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,770 interest in that. Especially after last night, like, I feel like we're back. 428 00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,290 And if Kristen doesn't like that, like, that's not my problem. 429 00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:02,970 I gotta go. 430 00:23:03,310 --> 00:23:04,310 Good talk. 431 00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:12,670 Looks pretty. 432 00:23:12,710 --> 00:23:13,830 Does it pretty? For Jack? 433 00:23:14,130 --> 00:23:16,090 Okay. Are you guys here for a special occasion? 434 00:23:16,570 --> 00:23:17,830 Uh, it's my birthday dinner. 435 00:23:18,070 --> 00:23:19,070 Birthday dinner! 436 00:23:19,450 --> 00:23:21,330 Thank you. I will send your server right out. 437 00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:23,290 Hopefully my credit card works this time. 438 00:23:23,590 --> 00:23:25,430 Oh, my gosh. Hey, how's it going? Hi. 439 00:23:25,630 --> 00:23:30,310 Hi. So, welcome to the guild. Any entrees for now? I want to do the ribeye 440 00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:31,310 medium rare. 441 00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:33,550 And for you? Same thing, medium rare. 442 00:23:33,790 --> 00:23:36,110 I'm going to do that. Can I do a medium? Thank you. You're welcome. 443 00:23:36,670 --> 00:23:39,110 Oh, my God. This life is so different from Kentucky. 444 00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:43,570 I mean, I haven't stopped since I've been here. I mean, I usually go to work, 445 00:23:43,570 --> 00:23:46,610 out and feed the horses, and go to bed. Yeah, I'm a little tired. 446 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,780 So tomorrow, about this roast situation. 447 00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:52,960 We all have a little of the past. Mine is just a lot worse than some people. 448 00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:57,340 For my birthday roast, I just really want to prepare Brittany's mom a little 449 00:23:57,340 --> 00:24:00,420 of some things she might hear and some things she's definitely going to hear. 450 00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:01,660 I mean, I didn't kill anybody. 451 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,060 That's pretty much the only thing I did do. Oh, my God, Jack. 452 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,980 It's all about hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. You know I've 453 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,340 in trouble with the law a few times. 454 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,340 The bail is $11 ,000. 455 00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:13,040 I'm in shock right now. 456 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,160 What do I do now? I'm going to call the bondsman right now. Yeah. 457 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,940 It's all because of things that are so silly. 458 00:24:21,220 --> 00:24:25,280 My mom's only in L .A. for a week. I don't want her to be left out of the 459 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,080 because I don't want to leave her by herself. 460 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,460 She's also a tough Kentucky woman. 461 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,400 She can handle it. She's got a lot of food here. 462 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:37,060 I need some sauce for it. You can't put sauce on a fancy steak like that. 463 00:24:37,260 --> 00:24:38,260 Oh, yes, I can. 464 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:42,140 I do have a good story to tell you about Brittany. When she had her 18th 465 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:43,420 birthday party at my house. 466 00:24:43,870 --> 00:24:44,870 Oh, gosh. 467 00:24:44,910 --> 00:24:49,410 I did a theme party, and guess what I called it? G .I. Joe's and Army Hoes. 468 00:24:50,450 --> 00:24:54,790 Mom was passing around cookie trays, and she had no idea that on the other side 469 00:24:54,790 --> 00:24:56,170 of the wall there were keggers. 470 00:24:56,510 --> 00:24:57,970 That cops get called? Cops came. 471 00:24:58,190 --> 00:25:01,110 Oh, sure. Mom almost got arrested for having underage drinking. 472 00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:04,890 So I wasn't the best kid in the whole world, I guess, either. 473 00:25:05,550 --> 00:25:07,310 I used to make report cards in high school. 474 00:25:07,630 --> 00:25:08,630 Sell them. 475 00:25:09,950 --> 00:25:10,950 Tax. 476 00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:13,390 She did it on my ACT, so I had someone else take it for me. 477 00:25:14,290 --> 00:25:15,850 You know scantron tests with circles? 478 00:25:16,110 --> 00:25:19,590 Yeah. If you put chapstick on the side of them, they won't make them work. 479 00:25:20,090 --> 00:25:23,930 So every time I had a scantron test, I got like 100%. Oh, my gosh. 480 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:27,630 I'm already speechless just listening to you, more or less, what other people 481 00:25:27,630 --> 00:25:30,090 are going to say. Maybe I'm digging myself in a hole before I even get 482 00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:31,130 huh? 483 00:25:31,450 --> 00:25:32,450 Coming up. 484 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:36,650 Sheena texted me saying that Tom Sandoval was going to bring up the stuff 485 00:25:36,650 --> 00:25:37,650 me and you. 486 00:25:38,130 --> 00:25:39,130 What's that? 487 00:25:50,890 --> 00:25:51,589 It's open. 488 00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:53,330 Thanks for coming by. 489 00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:55,710 Wanted to run some of our material by you. 490 00:25:55,970 --> 00:25:58,030 Definitely. You know him better than anyone. 491 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,290 I know. I just wanted to see where, like, you were going with it, too. 492 00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:03,390 Yeah. So, want to hear what I got so far? Okay. 493 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:05,630 A Jack's roast needs a lot of preparation. 494 00:26:05,970 --> 00:26:11,850 The hardest part is just, like, whittling it down to this perfect, 495 00:26:11,850 --> 00:26:12,689 to the ball. 496 00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:16,750 Wow, Jacks. You sure have come a long way from bathroom sexist sir, tattooing 497 00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:20,210 girls' names on your arms, and sleeping with your best friend's girl. Yeah. 498 00:26:20,510 --> 00:26:21,510 We've got together. 499 00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:26,610 One I might bring up, talk about how he's had two pit jobs this year. 500 00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:33,010 Did Chris insist on emceeing this and, like, going first? They pretty much 501 00:26:33,070 --> 00:26:36,950 like, leave me out of everything they plan these days. So I never know what's 502 00:26:36,950 --> 00:26:37,950 going on with them. 503 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,180 Ever since Katie and Stassi became friends again, something did change with 504 00:26:42,180 --> 00:26:46,040 behavior. We've all seen the wrath of Tequila Katie. Katie gets really mean 505 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:46,799 she's drunk. 506 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:47,960 Vicious. It's vicious. 507 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:52,520 Yeah. Kristen and Stassi, I feel like they really enable her. Kristen and 508 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,820 just agree with Katie because they don't want to stand up to her. That is 509 00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:58,020 textbook enabling. 510 00:26:58,740 --> 00:27:00,280 Like, you can look it up. 511 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,880 Full honesty, do you think Katie has a drinking problem? 512 00:27:03,420 --> 00:27:06,080 Uh, yeah, maybe. 513 00:27:06,860 --> 00:27:10,920 I feel like a lot of us feel that way, but no one says it to her. I mean, 514 00:27:10,940 --> 00:27:12,560 Jocelyn and Kristen certainly aren't going to say anything. 515 00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:16,420 When you get defensive like that, it's a sign of something. 516 00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,140 Wait, Nathan hit my card out. Hold on, hold on. 517 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:24,720 Hi, ladies. 518 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,080 Welcome back, men. 519 00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:29,100 For timers? All right, let's get you set up with paperwork. 520 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,060 This is so fancy and, like, clean. 521 00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:33,319 It's an Apple store, please. 522 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,320 No, it really is. 523 00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:36,300 Okay, as far as... 524 00:27:36,510 --> 00:27:40,670 I get, like, this, like, anxiety and, like, that also turns into, like, 525 00:27:40,770 --> 00:27:44,410 irritability. So, yeah, something that maybe won't put me to sleep, but if I 526 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:47,890 just do, like, a little bit enough that it might make me, like, not want to kill 527 00:27:47,890 --> 00:27:52,990 anyone. Enough people have told me that I'm angry when I drink, so I decided to 528 00:27:52,990 --> 00:27:53,990 do something about it. 529 00:27:54,210 --> 00:27:55,210 Why cannabis? 530 00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,330 Well, I'm trying to replace sleeping pills. 531 00:27:57,530 --> 00:27:58,530 And Katie? 532 00:27:58,730 --> 00:28:02,330 Irritability that I have sometimes where I can get, like, just agitated. They're 533 00:28:02,330 --> 00:28:03,330 both approved. 534 00:28:03,590 --> 00:28:04,590 I got... 535 00:28:04,990 --> 00:28:07,230 A marijuana card. You can't miss this show. 536 00:28:07,670 --> 00:28:14,430 Phoria is suppositories as well as, like, sexual lube. Spray on your vagina? 537 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:18,330 Yeah, you help, like, tighten your fences and you just have endless orgasm. 538 00:28:19,170 --> 00:28:21,770 Are you kidding me right now? I wouldn't lie to you. This is a thing? 539 00:28:22,190 --> 00:28:25,770 That I want to try. If you have any questions, feel free to let us know, 540 00:28:25,910 --> 00:28:26,910 Okay. All right. 541 00:28:28,390 --> 00:28:32,190 Did you work last night? Yeah, I got there and I was talking to Sheena and 542 00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:36,500 she... said like what is up with kristen she was like well kristen said that i 543 00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:40,220 hadn't paid you know my portion of the several hundred dollars for your bridal 544 00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:44,620 charm that makes me feel so uncomfortable i don't like talking about 545 00:28:44,620 --> 00:28:48,440 talking about anything like that much less in front of the person who these 546 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:52,760 things are gifts for that sheena were you raised by wolves in the hills of 547 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:58,390 i was annoyed with sheena before Now I'm in rage. Just erase it from your memory 548 00:28:58,390 --> 00:28:59,730 and don't think about it. I don't know what to say. I was like, I'm sorry. 549 00:28:59,950 --> 00:29:03,070 I didn't want anyone to spend any. I don't know. No, that's rude. Part of the 550 00:29:03,070 --> 00:29:06,610 reasons why you have bridesmaids is to take some stress off of yourself. 551 00:29:07,050 --> 00:29:09,030 I'm just irritated and I'm over it. 552 00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:13,330 That's why I feel like with this, it's not about getting high all the time. But 553 00:29:13,330 --> 00:29:19,170 I do know I don't get that quick agitation and irritability where I want 554 00:29:19,170 --> 00:29:22,390 out. This is just going to be perfect for sure. Yeah, maybe rather than being 555 00:29:22,390 --> 00:29:24,150 tequila kitty, now I can be, you know. 556 00:29:24,650 --> 00:29:26,810 Toking, Katie. Is that a thing? Is that what it's called? 557 00:29:27,030 --> 00:29:28,990 Toking. Yeah, that's... How do you spell that? That's a slang. 558 00:29:29,450 --> 00:29:35,610 Like yolk or like... No, I don't know. T -O -K -E? T -O... No, T -O -T -O -K -E. 559 00:29:36,270 --> 00:29:37,490 I'm ready to pay for this. 560 00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:38,850 I know, we got so many goodies. 561 00:29:44,470 --> 00:29:45,790 Oh, Kingsley! 562 00:29:51,630 --> 00:29:52,630 Hi, you guys. Hi, Kate! 563 00:29:56,790 --> 00:29:58,750 What is that? Oh, you have a whole notepad, I see. 564 00:29:59,050 --> 00:30:02,290 So I have a bit that I'm going to do at the top. Right. And so I'm, like, the 565 00:30:02,290 --> 00:30:03,930 roast master, like, cooking it. 566 00:30:04,230 --> 00:30:07,090 But then I have, like, a little bit for each person as I introduce them. 567 00:30:07,310 --> 00:30:11,790 Kristen is helping me prepare for this roast because I am nowhere near a 568 00:30:11,790 --> 00:30:15,530 comedian. I'm only used to doing beauty pageants and cheerleading competitions. 569 00:30:15,810 --> 00:30:19,430 I think it'd be good to make a joke about how you moved in with him, like, 570 00:30:19,430 --> 00:30:22,450 quickly. Well, he asked me to move to L .A. the first night I met him, you know 571 00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:25,060 that. I mean, you can talk about his car. Yeah, he loves his car. 572 00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:27,000 Well, the thing about it is it wouldn't start. 573 00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:29,100 He's still embarrassed. 574 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,020 He's like, oh, no, not now. The car don't start. 575 00:30:42,060 --> 00:30:44,520 What's that? 576 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:47,780 Jax walked in on Brittany and Kristen was going down on Brittany. 577 00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:48,819 You're lying. 578 00:30:48,820 --> 00:30:49,399 Go ask her. 579 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,400 What do you think I'm going to ask her? 580 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,560 How was it? 581 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,280 So what's this rumor? 582 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:55,840 Okay. 583 00:30:59,140 --> 00:31:02,460 Do you want me to say it in a very simple term? Yeah. Jax made up a rumor 584 00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:04,880 Brittany and I hooked up, and now they want to throw it in his face tonight. 585 00:31:06,980 --> 00:31:12,800 That's not cool. I just know that you're so... No, that's not cool at all. This 586 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,960 was months ago. And you never told me about it. Well, of course I wasn't going 587 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,100 to tell you about it. I'm only telling you about it now because... Well, I'm 588 00:31:20,100 --> 00:31:21,100 not... 589 00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:25,830 I don't like it. I don't like that at all. I know. I mean, I don't want any 590 00:31:25,830 --> 00:31:30,310 rumors brought up about my daughter because I will pack her bags and take 591 00:31:30,310 --> 00:31:31,310 back to Kentucky. 592 00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:33,450 Yeah. 593 00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:38,250 Coming up. This is your birthday present. That engine is running, but 594 00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:39,350 nothing behind the wheel. 595 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,040 Hey, did you bring that marijuana lubrication? 596 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,220 Because Jax isn't needing it. He's about to get it. 597 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:07,580 Yeah! That's my first zinger. Oh, it looks so good. 598 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,160 It looks hot. Thanks. 599 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,060 If I had to pick one thing that I don't want to be brought up, I wouldn't even 600 00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:43,460 know. There's so much that I'm kind of like, I brought sunglasses, and I'm 601 00:32:43,460 --> 00:32:44,460 definitely going to need this. 602 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,420 Tom's. I'm hoping that my friends will be a little lenient, but I'm not going 603 00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:49,420 lie to you, I'm brick. 604 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,100 Thank you for everyone for coming to the roast of Jax Taylor. 605 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:56,900 Yeah. 606 00:32:56,980 --> 00:32:59,620 Everyone is grinning, obviously, but I don't know if you guys all know that 607 00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:01,240 Cherry Brittany's mom is in town. 608 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,180 I'm not even going to look in this direction. 609 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,380 Don't. Okay, well, Jack, it is your 40th birthday. 610 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,320 This is 37. 611 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:12,779 Not true. 612 00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:16,660 40 is a really important number to you. It is the number of times you've given 613 00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:19,980 your number out at work. It is the number of bottles you've stolen from 614 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,840 And it is the exact number of times that you and Stassi broke up every f***ing 615 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:25,840 weekend. 616 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:30,100 Jack, I'm not saying that you're dumb. I'm just saying I once heard you ask 617 00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:31,500 what was in a vodka tonic. 618 00:33:34,530 --> 00:33:39,550 is Ariana Maddox's diary full of lesbian fantasies much like your Google search 619 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:40,550 history eyes do. 620 00:33:40,710 --> 00:33:44,870 Honestly, Ariana and I feel like we have come a long way from the days that we 621 00:33:44,870 --> 00:33:47,590 were sleeping with the same person because I upgraded. 622 00:33:50,190 --> 00:33:51,490 Ariana Maddox. 623 00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:57,530 I just think it's cute that Kristen is so proud of herself for making really 624 00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:59,980 obvious and kind of Typical joke. 625 00:34:00,220 --> 00:34:01,900 Thank you for the intro, Kristen. 626 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,740 You might want to wipe your mouth. There's still a little bullshit on the 627 00:34:04,740 --> 00:34:05,740 corner. 628 00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:11,580 Also, why are you emceeing this? At least when Jax... It was so bad that you 629 00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,040 kept your mouth shut for once. 630 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:19,780 We can trade blows, but, sweetie, I'm better at it than you are. Jax, the last 631 00:34:19,780 --> 00:34:23,020 time we all celebrated your birthday, you got arrested for shoplifting. 632 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,719 But it's okay, because the only thing you're better at than getting arrested 633 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,260 well... Getting people in Vegas pregnant. 634 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:35,139 Jess loves watching the Maury Show because it's the only time he ever 635 00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:36,820 are not the father. 636 00:34:37,980 --> 00:34:41,780 I mean, if you can't be a good example for people, you'll just have to be a 637 00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:42,780 horrible warning. 638 00:34:42,860 --> 00:34:43,860 Happy birthday. 639 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,620 And it's closer it's going to be. 640 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:51,340 Our bride -to -be, Katie Maloney. 641 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,020 So far, so good. This is not really that bad. 642 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:59,740 Jax one time said to me the greatest pleasure he could have was to watch my 643 00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:04,760 fancy rail a chick in front of me. I would love nothing more than for Tom to 644 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,600 rail a girl right in front of her. 645 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:12,400 But you know what? I get to watch ten people here tonight rail you, man. 646 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,200 Jax is very... 647 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:16,640 Being generous. 648 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:19,540 One time he gave me sunglasses. 649 00:35:20,140 --> 00:35:22,620 Turns out they were his ex -girlfriends. 650 00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:27,320 He gave me sunglasses too. 651 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,320 You're our red -headed mule. 652 00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:32,260 You're the goat always running around. 653 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,460 And for those of you who don't know what that means, neither do we. 654 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,600 A lot of things Jack says don't make sense. 655 00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:42,480 Shooting bullets in official barrels. 656 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,640 He's a big boy. He puts his pants on just, you know. 657 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:47,720 We could do a time like everybody else. That guy kind of buried his own bridge. 658 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:53,140 What? One thing I'm really excited about is that I'm not the fattest guy in the 659 00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:54,140 group anymore. 660 00:35:56,380 --> 00:35:59,940 I would say let's take off our shirts and see, but then shorts would get 661 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:01,760 excited, then you would kiss mandibles. 662 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:02,959 What's that? 663 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:03,960 What's that? 664 00:36:04,420 --> 00:36:08,420 Have you guys ever noticed how, Jack, it's literally always allergy season? 665 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,140 It's like one of my first memories of Jack. 666 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,400 I was in Miami like... 667 00:36:12,770 --> 00:36:17,090 30 years ago. And Jack just, like, kicks in the door and he's just like, I can't 668 00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:18,090 feel my f***ing teeth. 669 00:36:19,170 --> 00:36:22,530 The last thing I want to do is make any eye contact with Sherry because I really 670 00:36:22,530 --> 00:36:23,730 don't know how she's taking this. 671 00:36:24,070 --> 00:36:25,150 We used your girl, he says. 672 00:36:25,530 --> 00:36:27,030 You're my friend. You deserved it. 673 00:36:27,290 --> 00:36:29,190 Satisfy your girlfriend. We won't have a problem. How about that? 674 00:36:30,070 --> 00:36:33,310 Well, if you pleased your girl, she definitely wouldn't have to jump in bed 675 00:36:33,310 --> 00:36:34,310 you. 676 00:36:36,590 --> 00:36:37,590 Listen, Jack. 677 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,780 If you think that you're going to use Britney's mom to soften the blow of my 678 00:36:42,780 --> 00:36:47,340 punches, you got another thing coming. This is your birthday present. 679 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,660 That engine is running, but there's nothing behind the wheel. 680 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,480 This is you, Jack. This is your birthday present. 681 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:58,180 Oh my gosh, we drank too much, baby. 682 00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,760 Happy birthday, man. 683 00:36:59,980 --> 00:37:01,220 Thank you. So cool. 684 00:37:01,700 --> 00:37:03,320 Holy, this is awesome. 685 00:37:04,460 --> 00:37:06,120 I want to introduce now my hero. Uh -oh. 686 00:37:06,340 --> 00:37:11,000 This person was the first to get Jack to admit that he's a sociopath. 687 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,580 Stassi Schroeder. 688 00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:13,900 Take it away. 689 00:37:14,260 --> 00:37:18,160 Drink, please. Make it a double. In fact, make it a triple. I was going 690 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,960 a breakup, and I was working at Sir, and Kristen was like, you know what? You 691 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:27,420 just need to meet a dude. So she said, Jack, I have this girl. So I'm thinking 692 00:37:27,420 --> 00:37:31,540 I'm going to go and meet this Prince Charming. Someone to get my mojo back. 693 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,760 And he shows up with another girl. 694 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:40,080 So I was turned down. Now that I'm like thinking back on it, it was the only 695 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,920 time in the two years that we were together that he turned a girl down. 696 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:52,420 I am going to put up some objects and we're going to figure out what they all 697 00:37:52,420 --> 00:37:53,279 have in common. 698 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,300 So this is Crystal. 699 00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:57,540 This is a sandwich. 700 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000 Oh, no. 701 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,340 My Mew Mew. And this is my trust in innocence. 702 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,820 So what do all of these things have in common? 703 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,540 Jack, you can go f*** yourself. 704 00:38:12,780 --> 00:38:13,780 Happy birthday. 705 00:38:14,180 --> 00:38:18,580 That was me going easy on Jack, but I respect Brittany enough not to say 706 00:38:18,580 --> 00:38:19,379 anything weird. 707 00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:21,480 Lisa Vanderpump sent me a little video. 708 00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:29,340 so mr jack taylor what do i wish for you for your birthday well 709 00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:33,020 i'd like to tell you what i wish for me one thing i wish for me is i'd like to 710 00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:39,960 have all my stuff stolen people back i'd also like you not to post 711 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,720 public pictures of your genitalia 712 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,400 More time behind my bar than you do behind mine. 713 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,580 Happy birthday, Jack. I love you. 714 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,980 Obviously, you know that my mom's here. 715 00:38:56,500 --> 00:39:00,500 I was worried. It's her first time in L .A. Jack wants to, you know, he loves 716 00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,299 his Corvette. 717 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:04,400 My mom gets in the Corvette with him. It won't start. 718 00:39:04,740 --> 00:39:08,640 And all he's saying, it needs to warm up. It needs to heat up. You got a baby 719 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,400 in. And I'm just thinking, I know exactly what you mean. I know, I know. 720 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,220 Just like you sold me the pair of sunglasses. 721 00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,120 So Katie has like seven bridesmaids. 722 00:39:25,540 --> 00:39:28,080 Four out of seven have had sex with Jack. 723 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:36,160 I love that. If you're one of Katie's bridesmaids, there's a 57 % chance 724 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,840 he's had his penis inside of you. 725 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,700 I mean, he's slept with many, many, 726 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,840 many women. 727 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,160 And a few men. 728 00:39:45,620 --> 00:39:50,500 You know, there's many rumors floating around about Jax having a homosexual 729 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,280 affair as a young model in Miami. 730 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,740 It's really annoying. They're saying all this in front of Brittany's mom. It's 731 00:39:57,740 --> 00:40:00,620 only gay if you like it. Listen, those bills, they're not going to pay 732 00:40:00,620 --> 00:40:01,620 themselves. 733 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,960 I'm going to defend myself and let her know that I do not partake in any gay 734 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,920 activity. I just want to say thank you to Sherry for not leaving. 735 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,380 Thanks for being a good sport. 736 00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:15,960 I can't feel my teeth. 737 00:40:17,580 --> 00:40:20,860 Coming up. Are we okay? We probably are going to have a little bit of a talk. 738 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:34,160 I wrote Tom every time I drink. 739 00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:36,060 What up? What's up? 740 00:40:36,490 --> 00:40:39,930 You, I'm not super happy with. And you know that because I texted you earlier 741 00:40:39,930 --> 00:40:43,890 asking you not to do anything to upset Brittany's mom. Dude, this is a roast, 742 00:40:43,970 --> 00:40:47,810 man. You have so many questions. Oh, come on. Are you not more creative than 743 00:40:47,810 --> 00:40:52,370 that? I had to say, I had to say, I had to say, I had to say, come on. 744 00:40:57,290 --> 00:40:59,850 Brittany, are you going down on Brittany? Don't be so mad. 745 00:41:00,050 --> 00:41:01,550 Everything's fine. Don't be so mad. 746 00:41:01,930 --> 00:41:02,930 Weird dude. 747 00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:04,129 You gotta go. 748 00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:05,130 All right. Bye. 749 00:41:07,310 --> 00:41:08,249 You did a great job. 750 00:41:08,250 --> 00:41:09,530 You were so scary, mama. 751 00:41:11,230 --> 00:41:12,230 Where do I begin? 752 00:41:12,310 --> 00:41:13,870 I mean, uh, okay. 753 00:41:14,950 --> 00:41:15,950 Are we okay? 754 00:41:16,990 --> 00:41:19,170 Um, kissing the guy. 755 00:41:19,890 --> 00:41:22,470 That was the most offensive to me with a homosexual. 756 00:41:24,370 --> 00:41:27,210 I lived with a gay guy for a while. He's my best friend. 757 00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:29,950 I did some nudes. He did nudes? Nude photos? 758 00:41:30,170 --> 00:41:32,430 Actually, you know what? I saw that picture in my living room. 759 00:41:32,650 --> 00:41:33,650 Come here! 760 00:41:34,130 --> 00:41:35,770 Dude, you smell so f***ing good. 761 00:41:37,410 --> 00:41:40,190 Can we just not? I've been grilled enough tonight. Can we just go home? 762 00:41:40,690 --> 00:41:43,310 Like, they talked about, like, it was something much more. Oh, I know, because 763 00:41:43,310 --> 00:41:46,710 my friends were giving me a hard time. But that was a surprise to me, too. 764 00:41:47,170 --> 00:41:50,550 I have a serious problem with people judging me. Are we going to have a talk 765 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:53,750 home? Yeah, we probably are going to have a little bit of a talk. I know that 766 00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:57,070 Sherry's a very conservative Christian lady, but of all the things that I've 767 00:41:57,070 --> 00:42:00,750 done in my life, the going to jail, the cheating, the stealing, the thing that 768 00:42:00,750 --> 00:42:03,290 sticks out most is that I might have kissed a guy. 769 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:04,730 Really? 770 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,180 Next time on Vanderpump Rules. 771 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,820 I brought my soon -to -be groomsmen with me. 772 00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:13,620 Flip fits are what we all want. 773 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,700 Oh, yeah, you need an athletic fit, man. What? 774 00:42:17,100 --> 00:42:18,100 Hey, he's sensitive. 775 00:42:18,420 --> 00:42:21,360 The bridesmaids are having another meeting. I don't know if that's how 776 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,880 things roll in your case. 777 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,400 I would get really involved. 778 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:29,620 It felt abrasive to just be like, I don't give a f*** about you. I don't 779 00:42:29,620 --> 00:42:32,880 what to tell you. This is not coming to New Orleans, so if y 'all can't get 780 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:33,678 along, I don't know. 781 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,080 Mom's got to talk to you about the roast. 782 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,100 Something about you being a homosexual. 783 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,560 It didn't happen. You either take my word for it or you don't. There's no 784 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,399 to have attitude. 785 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,400 I'm going to go. 786 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,380 James is playing on Friday. 787 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,680 Here we go. Let's do it. Thank you for coming. 788 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,320 Later, DJ Kip. 789 00:42:54,060 --> 00:42:57,540 To see more of Vanderpump Rules, go to bravotv .com.